DON'T WRITE YOUR OWN REJECTION LETTER

How many times have you seen a great job listing — but talked yourself out of applying for it because you didn’t meet every qualification mentioned? … Applied but failed to follow up, assuming you weren’t right for the job? … Showed up for an interview with an obvious lack of confidence?

You wouldn’t be alone. An inability to check every “requirements” box is the most common reason job-seekers decide not to throw their hat in the ring. 

When Tara Sophia Mohr, women’s leadership expert and author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, surveyed a thousand men and women for a 2014 Harvard Business Review study about why they might not have applied for a given job, 41 percent of women and 46 percent of men chose “I didn’t think they would hire me since I didn’t meet the qualifications, and I didn’t want to waste my time and energy” as the number one reason. 

The “not-enough” mindset is an easy trap to fall into. The good news is: you can change it. What a difference a mindset shift can make, opening rather than closing doors. All it takes is the conviction to explore a world of possibilities. And remember, people hire people they like, and often choose the candidate they resonate with, and will train for specific skills if needed. 

How Gloria Got the Job – Without the Qualifications

We know plenty of clients who have written their own rejection letters. But here’s the story of one woman who was surprised and thrilled with the job she was offered: 

Gloria*, who had spent two decades working in Human Relations for a large financial company, wanted to shift into non-profit work. After sending her resume to an organization that helped economically disadvantaged youth enter the workforce, she was disappointed that she never received a response.

A year later, Gloria saw jobs posted online by the same organization. She learned that one of her college friends worked for the organization. She contacted her friend, who offered to personally hand Gloria’s resume to the director. As it turned out, even though the Director had never contacted Gloria, she had saved the resume that Gloria submitted a year earlier in a file in her desk drawer. 

Gloria and the Director met, they really hit it off. Toward the end of their two-hour-long interview, Gloria was taken aback when the Director asked which of two open positions she was interested in. One sounded far more appealing than the other, but required a master’s degree, which Gloria did not have. 

Gloria assumed she’d be considered for the other position since she checked all the boxes for that one. She was wrong.

The Director said, “You have everything we’ve ever wanted for the first position. Your prior experience is worth far more to us than a degree. If you want the job, it’s yours.”

It was a win-win situation. The organization landed a highly qualified employee in Gloria, who recently celebrated her one-year work anniversary, and couldn’t be happier. 

*Gloria is not our client’s real name. We’ve changed her identity in the interest of confidentiality.

Top Reasons People Write Their Own Rejection Letter

As in Gloria’s case, sometimes a “no response” from a prospective employer is really a “not now.” In some situations, people incorrectly assume they’re not right for the job and decide not to apply, so the hiring manager never gets the chance to meet them and evaluate their candidacy for the role. 

Related: What to Do if You Don’t Get the Job

The most common reasons people write their own rejection letters are:

• Education — Many job postings list “xyz degree or equivalent work experience” as a requirement. Don’t assume that you need the degree, especially if you have relevant experience. 

• Age — Whether you assume you’re too old or too young, defeating ageism starts with you. Age is a just a number until you assign meaning to it. What meaning do you attach to yours? Being flexible, adaptable, and open to learning are not exclusive to any age group.

• Experience — Think that because you’ve always worked in banking, you’ll always be “stuck” in banking? Think again. A 2019 Bureau of Labor Statistics study found that people born between 1957-1964 changed jobs around 12 times between the ages of 18 and 52. While it’s harder to find reliable statistics around career change, the consensus is that the average person changes careers between three and seven times throughout adulthood. Taking a non-linear career path can unearth possibilities you never knew existed. 

5 Ways to Focus on the Possibilities

You are the pilot of your career. Steering it in the right direction may involve adding depth to your job search by tapping into your professional network. Start by contacting people you know and helping them understand what you do so they can share that with their second-degree contacts who may not know you. Chances are, those are the people who will lead to your best opportunities. 

Here are five ways to start:

1. Recognize your natural abilities and personal style preferences.  Your natural abilities reflect how your brain is “hard-wired.” As a result, some things come more easily to you than others—so much so that you might not even notice it. (Doesn’t everyone approach problem-solving this way?) Working with your natural abilities and style preferences requires less time, effort and energy than working against them.

Use this self-awareness to consider ways in which you can contribute to a team or help a company or organization meet its goals.

2. Identify your transferable skills. Are you adept at identifying problems and recommending innovative solutions? Can you keep accurate and complete financial records? Do you inspire others? This is just a sampling of skills that can easily transfer from one role or industry to another.

Working in customer service, for example, could position you for a job in human resources, which involves many of the same responsibilities (e.g., ensuring customer/employee satisfaction, retaining customers/employees, resolving disputes, etc.), just in a different environment. 

This is especially important for people who’ve taken time away from the workforce to be a stay-at-home parent, care for an aging family member or take any type of sabbatical. There’s no rule that says you have to return to the same role or industry you left. Think about new skills you acquired during your time away from a traditional work environment. Don’t discount volunteer or caregiving work, which may have increased your leadership, communication or planning skills.

3. Talk to people. Informational interviews, also called career research conversations, can help you learn about different careers and work environments from an insider’s view. People are usually very open to sharing stories about their own professional path, including the steps that led them to their current position. These conversations can reveal jobs you may not have even known existed!

Related: Informational Interview Tips for Introverts

Get very clear about the roles you are targeting and hone your elevator pitch so that people in your network can make introductions to people who need to know about you. You might think of your professional brand as how people describe you when you are not in the room. Make sure yours is engaging and memorable.

4. Explore training opportunities. Expanding your knowledge base can include furthering your formal education, but it doesn’t have to. From self-guided online training modules to a wide variety of workshops, seminars and training programs offered by industry leaders, there are a myriad of shorter-term, more affordable ways to learn new skills. Check out websites like Coursera, Udemy as well as local community college offerings. 

5. Have fun! Brainstorm with an open mind. No (self)-criticism allowed. Even if you come up with an idea that you think has no merit, other ideas could stem from it, and develop into exciting options to explore. Take a cue from the world of improv, substituting the word “but” with “and.” 

See how it keeps the door open to new opportunities:

- “I would love to do that and my neighbor’s brother works in that field, and I’m going to see if I can have a conversation with him.”

- “I’ve never worked at an agency before, and it could be a great environment for me.”

- “Many jobs that interest me require a proficiency in Adobe Illustrator, and I’m going to find a training program to help me learn it.”

Turn Rejection into Acceptance

Start with your own mindset. Pushing yourself past your comfort zone, builds confidence, which fuels self-esteem. 

Instead of reflexively writing your own rejection letter, focus on all the positive qualities you bring to the table. As you shift the tone of your inner dialogue, you might just be amazed at the opportunities that come your way.

A sound strategy is the foundation of a successful job search.

Our career coaching programs are custom-designed to help you reach your goals.

Schedule your free consultation now.