Elena came to see us in the midst of a difficult divorce. After taking many years off to be a stay-at-home mom to her two sons, she needed to reenter the workforce. Quickly.
Although she was feeling overwhelmed, she told us that she was strong — and willing to do the hard work she knew it would take to land the right job. We knew that she meant it, and would therefore succeed.
Despite the challenges she was facing in her personal life, Elena approached her job search with perseverance and resilience. Although it took a couple of months longer than she’d hoped, she received an attractive offer from a sought-after employer, and proudly accepted it.
Not all clients carry the same level of confidence as Elena, especially as they launch their career search. They doubt their abilities. Or they feel like they’ve been dealt a bad deck of cards. Sometimes both. They wonder if they’ll ever have what it takes to succeed.
Once they commit to a plan and a course of action, they begin to sing a different song, a more confident, adaptable, resilient one that ultimately leads to success.
The Chicken or Egg Paradox
Whether you believe the chicken or the egg comes first is unimportant. Does the order really matter? You know it all works together in its own interconnected way.
Confidence, adaptability and resilience are similarly intertwined. It doesn’t really matter which comes first, since all three work harmoniously to support a larger goal. It’s as if they’re a well-designed three-legged stool: remove one, and it falls. But with all three in place, it’s strong. Sturdy. Supportive.
Adaptability allows you to respond to the unexpected with grace and finesse. When things don’t go as planned, you don’t become paralyzed; rather, you consider it an opportunity for creative problem-solving.
Especially now, in a period marked by uncertainty, the ability to adapt to an ever-changing set of circumstances is essential. Companies have no choice but to be responsive to sudden process shifts in how they approach their day-to-day business. They need employees who embrace flexibility. Who see “limitations” as paths to creative solutions.
Confidence allows you to be open to innovation. To try new ways of doing things. Confidence is trust, a quiet strength you acknowledge can help you keep going after your goal, while helping an employer meet theirs. And it’s the cushion that will be there to soften the blow if you fall. Should that happen, resilience will help you get back up, wiser and stronger than before.
Building Confidence
For some, self-doubt comes more easily than confidence. The good news is that confidence can be cultivated.
One way is to practice acting “as if.”
· You’ve probably heard the expression, “fake it till you make it.” It means trying out the behavior and tone you want to feel and therefore, project. But it works in reverse, too: by acting confidently, you gradually do begin to feel more confident once you experience yourself trying it out. Taking just a few baby steps in the right direction is often all you need to build momentum.
Another way:
· Think of someone you greatly admire. It could be someone you know: a friend, family member, colleague, or client. It could also be someone you don’t know, even a movie actor who knows how to handle situations smoothly and effectively. How might they handle this situation or challenge? Imagine they’re standing behind you, both hands placed gently on your back to demonstrate full support and belief in you, whispering, “You got this.” Can you channel their energy, their confidence, knowing they believe in you?
What are your strengths? How can you tap into — and maximize — them? The messages you hear the most often (and the loudest) are those you tell yourself. Like the Little Engine That Could, reminding yourself with “I think I can” is key to building confidence.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, try breaking something down into manageable chunks. Things often seem unattainable until you take that small-but-critical first step. It could be writing the introductory line of a cover letter or reaching out to a new contact on LinkedIn.
Success breeds confidence … and confidence breeds success. It’s another chicken and egg thing: the more capable you feel, the more adaptable and resilient you’ll become.
You’re Probably More Resilient Than You Think
“Fall down seven times. Get up eight.” – Japanese proverb
Sometimes we get so caught up in our failures and challenges, they can swallow us whole — if we let them.
One of the most effective ways to stand up to self-doubt is to remind yourself of your resilience. What hardships have you survived? What obstacles have you overcome? What challenges have you conquered?
Once you’re on the other side of them, it’s easy to discount or forget them. But it’s essential to remind yourself of these triumphs, however large or small they may be. They prove your resilience.
It's normal to feel discouraged, deflated, depressed, demoralized in the face of hardship. During these times, it might feel impossible to access the strength to move forward. But it’s there inside you.
Do you believe you can access it, even when you’re feeling doubtful? We do. It’s the willingness, the desire that matters.
Related: What To Do If You Don’t Get the Job
If you’ve ever grown a plant from a little cutting, you’ve seen that with the proper nurturing, a small, single stem can sprout its own roots and eventually grow into a beautiful, thriving plant.
Finding Space: Where Confidence, Adaptability and Resilience Meet
When a group from Chicago recently traveled to Rwanda, they practiced yoga with women who were living amid very difficult circumstances. They were struck by how these women still found reasons to laugh and smile. Survival is part of the human condition. Humor and a sense of lightness can often make even the toughest times more bearable.
Throughout the years, people have survived seemingly impossible situations. In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, famously said: Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Acknowledging that space is a skill. It requires you to pause, to quiet your anxiety. And to recognize your incredible strength and resilience.
In coaching, we create a similar “space” based on an energetic connection between client and coach. Approaching this space with confidence, adaptability and resilience — or the genuine desire to cultivate them — can spark many possibilities. Allowing them to unfold can refresh and inspire you as you take your next steps in a new direction.
A sound strategy is the foundation of a successful job search.
Our career coaching programs are custom-designed to help you reach your goals.
Schedule your free consultation now.