How connected are you with people who were once in your closest circle? Former colleagues or bosses? Classmates from college, high school or even grammar school?
Reconnecting with people from your past gives you a chance to reminisce, catch up and explore ways you might help one another in this new chapter of your lives and careers.
Past Meets Present: Expanding Your Sphere of Influence
Careers and businesses are built on relationships. Your “sphere of influence” includes people in your personal and professional network who trust and respect you, and value your opinion. They’ll refer clients and job leads to you. They’ll introduce you to others in their networks. They could become your boss or employee someday.
Spheres of influence are built on concentric circles. Your immediate circle might include friends, relatives, neighbors, colleagues, vendors or clients. Perhaps it includes people in your book club, exercise class or community organization. These are people you know. The next circle goes one step further, reaching their friends, relatives, neighbors, colleagues, vendors or clients. The circles continue outward from there as you continue to expand your reach … and your network.
It’s usually the people not in your immediate circle, but in the circle once removed that could be the most beneficial to expanding your sphere of influence, as these are people you might not otherwise reach.
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In the scientific world, concentric spheres share a common center. In the context of relationships, this can include people with whom you were once close and shared a common background or experience. Reconnecting with them can expand your sphere of influence, opening doors to new opportunities and relationships.
Finding People from Your Past
Social media has made it easier than ever to locate and communicate with people with whom you may have otherwise lost touch. When tracking down former colleagues or classmates, LinkedIn and Facebook can be great places to start. But not everyone is on social media. How can you find people who keep a low online profile?
Joining groups on LinkedIn and Facebook can help you connect with others who might know where to find the person you’re trying to contact. Alumni and professional groups allow you to contact other members even if you’re not personally connected. ContactOut or name2email.com/ are examples of the many online tools you can use to search for a person’s email address.
Related: LinkedIn: Just Use It!
Whether you reach out by sending a direct message on social media or crafting an email, begin your message with a comment that expresses your appreciation for your relationship. You might want to include a reference to a memorable moment or funny story from your shared past to help close the gap of time. Apologize for losing touch, but don’t feel obligated to make excuses or justify it. We’re all busy!
If there is a specific reason for reaching out, be direct about it. It’s okay to say that you’re reaching out because you’ve discovered that one of their connections works at a company where you’d like to apply. Talking to current (or former) employees is one of the best ways to learn about what it’s like to work for a company or organization.
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If the company happens to offer an employee referral bonus, maybe there’s something in it for them as well.
In his books, Infinite Giving (2020) and Givers Gain (2004), Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization, emphasizes the importance of giving in building relationships. How can you offer to help the person you’re reconnecting with? Perhaps it’s promoting their company in one of your social media posts, or, if they’re between jobs, introducing them to one of your connections who might be able to help.
The giving and taking should be natural, not forced. If you approach reconnecting with people from your past with no ulterior motives, you ever know where conversations may lead!
The Ripple Effects of Reconnecting
Reconnecting with people from your past offers a variety of unexpected benefits. Talking with people who’ve had new and different experiences over the years can expand your horizons, helping you become more empathetic, enlightened or inspired. A conversation with someone you knew from a previous chapter in your life could rekindle a desire to take on a project or venture that you once talked about doing but put on the back burner.
It can also be a powerful way to shift your perspective. One client who had been a stay-at-home dad wanting to reenter the workforce struggled with self-doubt until he started reconnecting with former colleagues. They reminded him that he was a talented web designer who added a unique flair to every project he worked on. Clients loved him. Coworkers missed his wit and positive energy around the office. Hearing these things helped him regain his confidence, which immediately fueled his job search efforts.
Once you’ve reconnected with people from your past, it’s easy (and fun) to maintain the relationship. Send an ecard on their birthday. Pass along an article you think might be of interest. Set up a Zoom or in-person coffee date twice a year.
As you reflect on your personal and professional history, who made a difference in your life? Who made you laugh? Who supported or encouraged you? Who taught you the most valuable lessons?
In the spirit of Dr. Misner’s concept of giving, expressing gratitude to people from your past who’ve shaped your future could be one of the greatest gifts you can give them – and yourself.
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